The night has just begun.....

"Dont start the day with doubts and fears,
for where they live, faith disappears.
Love wont grow in a gloomy heart
where sorrows live and teardrops start.
Dont give up before you've begun
you still have time to get things done.
Dont be a quitter, you are not alone
---we all must crawl before we're grown.
There are no rainbows without the rain,
there are no victories without the pain"
--Clay Harrison


What do u do when your life becomes a burden? when you start feeling that you aren't living but dragging on? or when your vision becomes blurred and darkness is all you see? can life be so cruel that what appears a dream for others is actually your worst nightmare? and what do you do when all the pain, agony, hatred, frustration, fury, rejection, dejection and trauma become as much a part of you as your heartbeat itself? you shout, scream, yell on top of your goddamn lungs but nobody listens. nobody wants to....can there be a soul more helpless and restless as yours? you look up to the stars. are they the ones conspiring against you? but what did you do to upset them? you wait for it to rain, believing that with the falling raindrops all your worries would be washed away. And when it does rain, instead of a catharsis it burns your heart as well. how long the ordeal? after all you are just a mortal with a heart that is broken every now and then and a mind which cant guard you against every volley of flesh-piercing bullets being shot at you. what an irony? wouldn't life in hell be far merciful than this, your real world, your realm of destruction, the place where you were sent as a messenger of love. Love? doesn't it sound more alien than the big-eared creatures in the movie? would you be ever able to discover its true meaning? how it was meant to change your life and how the lack of it indeed changed it.....why is it so hard to find things in life in the absence of which life becomes one helluva shit?
You open your arms in the dark and a gentle breeze of air blows through your hair. its been eternity you felt something like this. you again look up to the stars....this time you see a shooting star......or atleast you believe you did. you quickly close your eyes and make a wish. and as you open your eyes with a new found hope and a ray of light, you feel a touch. the touch of another being. the touch of his hand. you realise he is the answer to your prayers and close your fingers around his, fearing that you might lose him if you loosen your grip, oblivious to the fact that you are being too harsh. No, you dont want to let go of him. you cant afford to......but will he understand it and reciprocate? how will he come to know that all you want him is to be protective and caring and loving and supportive and guiding and a saviour? you never learnt to communicate. will you again fall prey to the vicious circumstances? will you be foolish enough to hurt him for all the love he has brought into your life? you want him to be there beside you....like your shadow. and then it thunders and it gets dark again....you had forgotten that the night had just begun and night hates shadows.............



"dil ki aankhon ne meri apna sanam dekh liya...ab isi dar pe mere dum ko nikal jaane do..."