revelation

The infant hours of tonight were no different and special than those of the last thirty days i had spent in the drawing room of my house. I was sitting on a chair cross-legged with the books scattered in front of me, trying my best to study. i say trying because everything but studies was on my mind. there was this pain running through my veins and disgust boiling into anger with each passing moment, trying to find a vent so that they could finally erupt. whenever i've tried to make things right, my endeavours have always backfired with things worsening like never before. the recurrent events have forced me to tread the middle path when i know that this middle path is not the one which leads to enlightenment. it is like a boulevard one turns to to escape when the mind simply refutes to acknowledge the glaring difference between right and wrong. i was scolding, blaming, humiliating, pleading, begging and crying before the one responsible for all this, in my mind. tears rolled down my cheeks and my vision became completely blurred. i closed my eyes to stop the incessant tears and turned my face up. and as i opened my eyes i saw something i had seen before a million times but never realised it was there. it was a portrait of lord ganpati hanging on the wall right in front of me. suddenly i could feel someone watching me over. the loneliness had disappeared in a flash. and as the tears still fell from my eyes, i felt i was smiling. though initially it was a laugh which mocked the relevance of such a trivial revelation but as sense prevailed, i felt the pacifying effect of His powers. He had instilled this confidence in me yet again. i went back to study with this staunch belief that His divine hand would be on my head tonight...like always.

i think this is what you call serendipity...quite a misappropriate word but thats the way i've always been....with words.