Someone Like You

                                                                                
I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

                                                                                     -- Adele

Beneath The Surface..

Is there ever really a right time?

You had led me to believe

Someday you'd be there for me.
When the stars above aligned,
When you weren't so consumed,
I kept looking for the clues.
So I waited in the shadows of my heart
and still the time was never right.

A shell of what things could've been,
Tired bones beneath them,
of guarded secrets all too frail.
Sad to think I never knew,
You were searching for the words, for the moment to emerge.
Yet the moment never came.
You couldn't risk my fragile frame.

Until one day you stopped caring,
and began to forget why you tried to be so close.
And you disappeared into the darkness,
and the darkness turned to pain,
and never went away,
until all that remained was buried
deep beneath the surface.

I would scream just to be heard,
as if yelling at the stars.
I was bleeding just to feel.
You would never say a word;
Kept me reaching in the dark,
always something to conceal.

Until one day I stopped caring,
and began to forget why I longed to be so close.
And I disappeared into the darkness,
and the darkness turned to pain,
and never went away,
until all that remained was buried
deep beneath the surface...

-- Dream Theater

thi chah jiski mujhe...

bola tha weh jab janma tha yeh rishta
na tootega waada, na hoga andhera.
hai aaj bhi aankhon se paani ki rimjhim
na raah hai koi, na chalne ki shamta.
maanga to na tha bin kaanton ka jeevan
chaha tha keval prem ka basera.
diya hai tumne jo abhaav drishti ka
yeh wo roshni to nahi, thi chah jiski mujhe.

tha vishwaas jab samjha tha uski mamta ka vardaan
na hogi shikayat, na gila na shikwa.
hai aaj bhi aankhon mein khoj wahi
na raahat ki jhalak, na thikana manzil ka.
maanga to na tha bin tanhai ka jeevan
chaha tha keval weh saath pal bhar ka.
diya hai tumne jo tohfa zindagi ka
yeh wo saahil to nahi, thi chah jiski mujhe.

tha jagmagaata sa kshitij jab khole the pankh
na hoga khauf, na darr girne ka.
hai aaj bhi kheiton mein haryaali wahi
na sookhi mitti, na murjhaana foolon ka.
maangi to na thi un foolon mein khushboo
chahi thi keval aazaadi udne ki.
di hai tumne jo tamannayon mein hakikat
tum wo to nahi, thi chah jiski mujhe....

In control...

Let me touch you, Oh Divine, for one last time
let me embrace you before i fall out of line
come to me and hold me tight
I need no love, just a moment full of light.
you gave me life but i'll set you free
Purgatory, your eyes and at last i redeem.

opium..

bizarre is the word, fickle my mood
i've had enough, let me get in the groove
i'm quiescent, no life, i'm without a soul
i'm afraid you suck in your goddamn role.
you took away my voice and gave no cue
why cant you see that i'm not you?
i'm shackled, its dark, the pain has seeped into my veins
it doesnt hurt anymore, am i human or just numb and insane?
silenced and threatened, rubbished and provoked
i wonder were you ever my own..
i'm lost, i'm dying, i cant open my eyes
period. you couldnt estrange my love of light.
loosen your grip and set me free
let me learn, survive not flee
a night, a dream, i'll be on my own
opium, it works....and i carry on....

My friends: memorable histrionics part 4: You Suck More Than I Do

Now the person I’m taking the pains for doesn’t actually give a fuck whether I immortalize our friendship by writing this or not. She’s too lethargic to move her ass and turn on her machine to oblige me by reading this. Haven’t I always kept such ‘good-for-nothing’ people at bay, maintaining an arm’s distance whenever they are around? Haven’t I always refrained from turning such a flippant into a friend? So what am I doing, sitting here, reminiscing all the moments I’ve been ‘forced’ to spend with her due to the absence of a worthy accomplice? Wasting time, huh? Yeah...Probably. ‘Cause this great friend of mine won’t even have the courtesy to thank me. Thank me, not for putting this piece up here and talking of her in high esteem but for flashing her ‘unprecedented endeavors‘on my blog and being the first jerk to acknowledge that she really exists. She doesn’t care if its apocalypse, she won’t give a damn if the earth is taken over by aliens. You may be dying, alone and thirsty in a desert and she’ll not care enough to….Oh! wait a second…..she’ll definitely ‘message’ you to tell you that Rooney scored yet another goal or that Chelsea won 2-0 for the umpteenth time. All our attempts to find her a suitable ‘match’ keep failing every now and then. Her hormones just don’t shoot up no matter how hot a man is but her name can be found written in golden letters in every second guy’s good books. And the girls don’t feel the J of jealous. Stupid as they are, the girls or the boys, I aint the least interested. From holding a senior by his collar and bullying him to approaching the hottest girlie on the campus and telling her that she looks so masculine, from stealing the ‘jobs’ in the workshop to slapping a guy hard enough to jolt him out of his sleep , I’ve done it all in her ‘much revered’ company. I’m her partner in crime each time she gets the urge to wake up from her ‘boring’ life and spice it up with something out of the blue. I swore myself out of innocence the day destiny brought us together. Poor me! I just don’t know if I should thank god enough or curse my stars, being the good girl that I am. And as this ‘unwanted’ memoir gets too long for me to handle, let me cut the crap with the only line that holds some significance “Hasleen, You suck more than I do”.

fake it till it gets real...

it's just another morning
dawn of yet another ordeal
the day wont give you a reason to smile
and you fake it till it gets real.

the noise makes you go deaf
and you wonder whats the deal.
a void left by love which eloped
and you fake it till it gets real.

the food just doesnt let you breathe easy
'cause emotions were thrown behind a veil.
not where you belong, you search for hope
and you fake it till it gets real.

you reach a valley, so still and serene
a place, you thought, your wounds will heal.
no sun, a mere glimpse of light
and you fake it till it gets real.

you're tired, you stop, the night has prevailed
a broken heart, you lost again.
it's dark, no zeal, what's left to feel?
and you fake it till it gets real.

My friends: memorable histrionics part 3: looking into a mirror

The term ‘histrionic’ doesn’t actually describe my relationship with her. And if I look for one, I cant think of any such term which will neither be bombastic nor too subtle to fit in. she wasn’t there when I was learning my alphabets, she wasn’t there when I was carving out a niche for myself, she wasn’t there when I had my first crush nor was she there when life brought me back to square one. But now when I turn around, she seems to be everywhere, in each moment down the memory lane, a part of my every day, good or bad. Our getting together, in my opinion, was absolute chance. Honestly, there was nothing about her then which had impressed me to get closer to her. I almost loathed the people she used to hang out with and I was quite happy in the company of those around me. And here I am, completely mesmerized and awestruck by the magnetism of her character. I haven’t come across anyone, over the years, who not only has a beautiful heart and soul but an equally enigmatic aura around her. She might not drop a bomb with her looks but ignoring her just isn’t possible. And even if u turn your back on her, she’ll appear right in front of you only to let you have the privilege of seeing her. The bond that we share hasn’t been through crests and troughs literally, it is still as strong as one can get, though morphologically it keeps assuming different hues with time. I might not see her each time I want to, she might not be there each time I want her to console me and she even might not be there each time I am in dire need of her precious advises but she is always at my beck and call whenever I need her, whenever I want to share with her all the silly things I did. From the guy who threw friendly glances to the lovely dress I window-shopped, from the happy times I spend even in her absence to the troubled times I don’t even want to remember, she knows me inside-out. I think this is what is called symbiosis. Hey, seems I have finally found the word I was looking for.